Acceptance

 

I seek out the different, because that is the truest true

There’s something real about those that are different

I’ve come to find out that I am one of those different ones.

I used to stay enclosed, because I didn’t want to let out my full self.

It took me 30 years to find clarity. 

30 years to find the answers that I desperately sought for. 

30 years, closing my eyes and holding my breath. 

30 years of deep sorrow, extreme joy, and horrific heartache.  

30 years to be reminded of all the good, the bad and the ugly 

30 years to be blessed with all the triumphs, joys, and celebrations. 

30 years of the ins & outs, the ups and downs, the roller coaster of my so-called life. 

30 years of thinking that there would be results, that there would be a story book ending, that the movie credits would appear &  there would be applause.  

30 years of believing in God. 

30 years of false hope. 

30 years of climbing that mountain, gear in place, only to be let down again & again. 

30 years of having a vision of redemption, restoration, reconciliation. 

Less than a year for your life to become completely uprooted

Less than a year for someone you’ve known and loved over half your life to become a complete stranger

Less than a year for the answers to become more clear and solid

Less than a year of continuously, trying to make sense of it all

Less than a year, searching and begging for that peace to come quickly

Less than a year for acceptance to surface