~Feel~

I feel completely empty & broken

I feel hated and shamed 

I feel lost & stuck

I feel like death & shattered

I feel as though I've failed myself

I feel I have disappointed myself

I poured my life into someone who I will never be enough for

I depended way too much on love, a love that shattered uncontrollably 

I let my own self down every time I opened my door to anger

Everytime I went back like a puppy begging to be understood

Everytime I spewed those words of hate & rage & retaliation all over again

What purpose does it serve, absolutely none

I want to feel alive again

Alive in my own self

I want to feel free again, free to not fear, free to be who i really am

& what's stopping me

Me

Dead in my tracks....

.