the journey continues

 4 years to now….

It has been 880 days of a battle that cannot be won.  It has been 880 days of giving in & letting go & repeatedly snatching it back.  It has been 880 days of the band aids being applied only to be ripped off again.  It has been 880 days since I realized I have not gotten out of the way at all.  It has been 880 days since my life crumbled to pieces all around me & there was nothing I could do.  It has been 880 days since my eyes began to truly open to what a monster this disease truly is.  It has been 880 days of a journey that I have tried to push through relentlessly but realizing there is no end.  

No amount of fighting can bring resolution.  No amount of trying to control a situation can bring peace.  No amount of prayer, hope or faith can bring you what you desire.  

My story is my own.  My story is not everyone’s story.  I have continued to search for “those people” to find the answers & solutions yet have found my own in the process.  My journey is broken but deep in my soul I know ultimately there is hope, while the result will not be what I had ultimately hoped for, the hope lies within….the peace lies within…the love comes from within❤️‍🩹

Whisper in my soul

 let go, i heard the whisper in my soul

daily 

i have to let go

hourly 

i have to let go

they say it’s gets easier

they lied

you keep moving, you keep listening

that still small voice inside you

it will continue to scream 

let go…