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How do u sleep at night?
Do you just forget it all?
Do you just erase it from your mind?
Is it that simple for you
Do you ever wonder why you precede to hurt her again and again
But yet she stays and she stayed through it all
She’s stuck to you like glue because she knew your true worth
She knew your true value
She knows who you are and who you can be
She digs deep and holds on regardless of how tumultuous it might be
She didn't walk away
She took her vows, and still does, seriously
She created boundaries based on instruction from you and a trusted adult
But yet when she stood up for herself she was slammed to the ground
She swirls around like the wind
She’s afraid and can’t see her worth
Her worth has lied in you for all these years
How do you throw out someone, whom you love and profess to love so deeply as a soulmate, how and why would you throw her away?
You want her to be strong, to stand on her own two feet
But yet when she makes that decision you tear her down and break her wide open
She comes back to you every time, when you know full well she’s worth far more than that, but yet you slam her back into that wall again and again
For what? For what purpose do you choose to break your soulmate?
You willingly let her go and feed her to the wolves
She stood by you for over half of your life
She loved you, supported you, believed in you, when no one else would, especially yourself
But yet she has to earn your love, she has to earn back your approval because you are something
Because you deserve it
At what cost is enough, enough
At what point do you continue to destroy a family that is not meant to be destroyed
Built on a rock, a foundation, a true testimony at times, but yet you want to let the walls crumble
Due to your own demise, guilt & shame
Rather than stepping back and taking a deep breath, your own advice of backing off
There’s a lot at stake to just willingly let the pieces fall
Jill, many of those words ring true in my life. A pain that you just can’t comprehend. ❤️🙏
ReplyDeleteJulie Trika
Julie, thank you for sharing. I am sorry you are walking through your own darkness as well. I pray that my words might help you along your journey also. I realize blogging gives me a sense of peace and freedom. It's mine and no one can take that away from me.
DeleteJill, whether you realize it or not, I am your friend and I'm here for you anytime day or nigh .
ReplyDeletethank you Kimmie.....I appreciate that greatly. You have always had such a big heart and extended that out to many.
DeleteI think of you often, my friend, your strength is amazing. Love you, keep on blogging, your words are beautiful.
ReplyDeleteThank you....a friend of mine, that didn't know that i had a blog helped me to see that this might be a way of letting out my feelings. I feel that it does help me to express myself in a safe place and that freedom to be myself just might be that step towards freedom that i am desperately seeking....
DeleteYou are such a strong woman. I think and pray for you often. Keep holding on to God and let him give you strength. He is the one who knows your worth and will reward you in heaven for your faithfulness. Much love and prayers for you my dear.
ReplyDeleteI appreciate that so much. I feel very weak and not so strong lately. Each time I step forward in strength i feel that i allow the negative to slam me back too often. One day at a time....
DeleteHi, Jill. I am so sad to read these posts. I can't imagine the pain you are going through and the challenges that each day brings. I do understand how having young children keeps you going though. The older ones need us too, but we are the whole world to those young ones. I have no advice , just supportive thoughts and love.
ReplyDeletethank you Barb....one day at a time....
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