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writing for me has always been therapeutic
i firmly believe as of late, that my writing has left me trapped
it has left me stuck
stuck in a world that is no longer my reality
a world that would spin me out of control consistently
but yet it brought me comfort
Comfort, to have the chaos
to still hold a sense of control
even though i had none
it brought about grief
rage & anger
it has not been helpful
it has in fact been detrimental
the only way out for me is to release
to release the anger & rage that i have stored in my body for so long
the feelings that compound in my mind that i have sworn will dissipate as i write
the problem, they haven't
i have given them more power
more strength to live on in my mind
it's as if i am holding onto them
it's time to let go
it's time to release
just how will that happen i am not sure
by way of publishing this so called book would be the first step
my words out on paper, release from my very being and out into the world for someone to grasp onto as i once did
~a voice
to speak the truth that it is okay to struggle
it is okay to hang on for 30 years
it is okay to feel defeated and undone
it is okay for the results not to be as you were to have them
even though you did everything you were capable of
~the words
that transpire onto pages that open my eyes to see
that this life was not normal
while it was a beautiful one
it was filled with destruction
that created a division among souls
that suspended a battle that would never be won
that endured a life full of questions, broken promises
and left us with no answers or closure
we will rise out of the suffering
it will no longer define us
it will no longer have a pull or hold on us
it will no longer be the tie that binds
it was the unraveling of a perfect circle
that was never perfect to begin with
it spiraled out of control
the brokenness was made new by the unconditional love & strength of the very gifts that were given to me
