happy birthday

 

3 years 

1,095 days

28 years

10,220 days

It was directed by spite

Contemplated often

The grand finale ended in a rage of intoxication

Intoxication that would not pause 

It was my fairy tale nightmare peppered in with  meaningful moments 

but they were not enough

Not enough to hold him

For me I pushed them aside

& set them on the bedside table

Hoping they would dissipate 

The duration of those 1,095 days was a push & pull of sorts

Questioning at best with very loose boundaries

The endurance of 10,220 days was a lifetime

Blessings & abundance

Agony & deep rooted heartache

Present day, is impossible to live in

The twilight zone is my fortress

Past days are comfortable & all I know

Future days suffocate me with all the questioning regardless of the joy that beckons me

happy birthday dear one, you’re scarred for a lifetime as you live in your twilight zone of comfort

It’s up to you to release & live in the now….