Yet again

 

~Sitting in the closet while eating lil debbie Christmas tree cakes while your children are snoring & nestled in their borrowed beds

~taking a breath on your Christmas excursion with the littles while establishing a new tradition in hopes of overcoming your hatred of “Christmas”

~deciding to type out a “grown up Christmas list” yet speaking out your truths instead

~realizing that no god nor santa nor miracle will help you overcome the deep darkness that covers your eyes this time of year

~accepting that the only battle you’re fighting is the one within yourself

~realizing that the ”fight” is over but yet you’re still swinging

~being blind to the true feelings that are surrounding you but they feel foreign so you put up all your defenses

~unwilling to accept, embrace & relax, so you begin to sabatage the good that may come 

~yet here you are, in this place, at what cost & at what loss are you willing to feel

~the past or your future

~can you open my eyes & pull me out of this twilight zone 

~you being me