broken

i allowed myself to get so embedded & meshed with someone else

when I pulled away

 i broke

i fell apart...

i put everything i had into my other half

not myself

but him...

The love I poured into his soul seeped out of my pores at such an intense speed

i became weak  

i could not stand alone

i could not stand without him...

as i broke, i wanted him to fill my cracks

to seal them shut

he could not 

he didn't have the capacity because he was far too broken himself...

over time my love poured out unconditionally

i continued to pick up those broken pieces & hide them away

quickly & quietly... 

I gathered them with such grace 

as to not shatter them further 

& gently closed the box...

the box stayed shut for over 20 years

Nothing was subtle, it was always grandiose

relentlessly i would gather the pieces again to no avail

my soul would shatter at such intense levels

i was numb to the pain