hanging by a thread

 

Some days I don't know how I make it through.  This week, I have barely climbed out of them.  One foot in front of the other.  It's a never ending disaster of movement.  These emotions, I'm holding, at what point will i let go?  At what moment will the dam break?  Toxicity is real, narcissism is real, gaslighting is real, mental health instability is real, your brain being destroyed by alcoholism is real...

I ponder, does he get it?  Does he really understand the depth of destruction he has created.  Does he fully comprehend the heartbreak i feel?  Does he care about my stability?  At what point do the tables turn and the question being asked points in my direction?  

This is the twilight zone, the full blown fuckin twilight zone.  There is no awakening.  There is no continuing.  The door is revolving.  It continues to spin on, with or without me.